Will You look at that....

Well, I can't believe it, but I am now a blogger. I will start slowly and build up speed as I learn. Trying to complete that bucket list and having a blog is on it. So if I write not one more time I have checked one more off on the bucket list. Fortunately I have several more to complete. Some more simple than others. Since I am basically Facebook challenged, I hope that does not prove to be the case with the blogging. But, we shall see what we shall see.

The first thing I will do when I finish this first entry is race to my emails and send everyone in my address book this address. My blogging days will have officially begun!

I am going to talk a lot about memories. Obviously some of mine are memories shared only by me. I love memories! They can never be taken away from you nor destroyed unless you allow them to be. I have chosen to not let the good memories go, nor do I choose to let a lot of the bad ones go. We are today what we have grown from in our past. I am at a very good place in my life in spite of some HORRIBLE memories that I have not forgotten but I have dealt with and they no longer rule my life nor my actions in any way.

This particular journey started at a very bad time in my life. A time I was barely hanging on. I found a book titled "I Ain't Much Baby, But I Am All I've Got," by Jess Lair. This was in the early to mid 70's and this book began the change in me, for I realized because of one sentence I was blaming those who had hurt me so badly for every bad decision I made and virtually everything that was wrong in my life. These hateful, hurtful memories that I so carefully guarded so no one would ever know were affecting every area of my life without my even realizing it. The sentence in the book said, "for what I am today damn them, but if I choose to stay this way, then damn me." I chose NOT to stay that way. That was a journey that took about 15 years to complete, but finally I made it and became who I am today. I like me today and that is a good feeling. I didn't always like me.

I will share many good memories with my blog and they will include memories of the following:

Roy Burney, my brother whom I love so dearly and miss so much

High School friends and memories that make me laugh and cry and why I loved those 3 years so much. They were my happiest time, in fact probably the only really happy time until I read the book and completed the 15 year journey.

My children whom I love more than life, but was unable to be the mother I wish I had been. I wasn't a bad mother, I was a sad mother. I was a lost person. Lost in memories that closed me off like a water faucet. If I felt happy I had to feel badly as well, so I chose not to feel. Thank you my precious children who loved me and still love me! I have some wonderful stories to tell on you, so get ready!

My grandchildren who have taught me that life just "ain't the way it used to be." I have some stories on them as well.

My husband, Buddy....thank you for loving me and my children as though they were your own. Boy, do I have some stories about you....I can hardly wait. Oh, and by the way, I love you more!

My Great Granddaughter Addie who just turned 1 on the 17th of June and who has allowed me to become a kid again. I love it. I would love to get in the floor with her and play, but if I ever did, I would never be able to get up.

There will be many other wonderful memories shared. I welcome any comments or "memory adjustments" and I hope all of you who knew me when and know me now will find many happy moments following this story of my memories.

I will close for now, for it is late, I am old, and I must go nitey nite. Will "blog" again soon. Before I go I am going to try to post this one picture of my granddaughter Ashleigh and my Great Granddaughter Addie.....OOOPPPSSSS first mistake of many I would imagine, the picture is at the beginning of the story and it was supposed to appear here.

Later,

BonnieB