Today Was a Thinky and Melancholy Day...So this will be Short

You may have noticed that their have been no posts since Saturday.  There is a reason for that.  Sunday there was a 7th Heaven Marathon on GMC (Gospel Music Channel) which I watched a lot of.  Monday I took Buddy to work as I needed the car for a doctor's appointment and mine needs to go to the hospital because it won't start.  So, Monday I left the house at 7:00 and took him to work, went to the doctor (two of them), went to the grocery store (three of them), came home put the groceries away, went back to get Buddy from work at 7:00 p.m. and we went and had dinner; got home at 9:00 and went to bed shortly after.

Tuesday had appointment at 11:00 then lunch with a friend and went to the movies to see Les Miserables' again before it leaves the big screen (hope to see it at least once more before it leaves the theater) came home, fixed dinner and went to bed.

Today I went another doctor.  I hate wasting my time with doctors.  But, here is what I found out today.  Even though I am blind in my right eye and my left eyelid is drooping severely and blocking some vision in that eye, the doctor said that insurance will not approve it quite yet.  He said give it another six months and I will probably not be able to see out of it at all without holding my lid up and we would do the tests again.  Right now only!!!!!!! 50% of my upper peripheral vision is blocked.....Of course, just because I am blind in the other eye, that would be no problem for most people.  At least it won't kill me.  I asked if I could still drive....no problem.....that is not my up close and personal peripheral vision....glad to hear that at least.  However, the bone doctor may get rich because I trip over things and bump into furniture and doorways.....I already need to have both knees drained of massive amounts of fluids from falling.  Guess I will go ahead and do that now....then I can just sit in my recliner with my laptop in my lap and continue to write stories on Roy.

Speaking of Roy.  I am going to watch the DVD of Les Miserables that he directed in the school where he and Holly taught.  It is magnificient....hmmmm just thought of that.....well tomorrow may be filled with more Les Mis......I have two other DVD's in which he and Holly acted and/or produced and directed.  "Once Upon a Tenor" which I have watched many times and laugh until I nearly wet my pants and "Who Is Afraid of Virginia Wolfe," in which he and Holly again played the leads.  I have, to date, not been able to bring myself to watch this one.  I spent the last six months of his life with him and Holly and I saw how happy he was and they were together and I love and consider her a sister.  I don't know if I can take watching them act in this one....will keep you posted on that...but don't look for anything soon.  However, watch for Les Miserables' review as I will be once again enjoying that.

I have also been working on the photos that go with The World According to Roy and have gotten many more of them done and so am happy about that.  However, that was pretty difficult because as I really worked on the photos, I saw in the body language sometimes that perhaps our family was not as happy as we may, or I may, have thought.  That is a painful thing to notice when both of your parents and your only brother are gone and you are the only one left and you thought you were happy as a family.  We probably were, I am just feeling whatever I am feeling because of just working on the photos and bringing all of the memories to the forefront of my mind.  

I wonder sometimes if old memories don't simply just need to be remember ONLY in your memory....not with photos or reunions or anything of that sort.

I thought high school was the happiest time of my entire life until I met Buddy.  But, in September I went to my 50th class reunion and I learned I should have just kept my memories and forgotten about the reunion.  Old friends, best friends (or so one thought) are completely different...they do not want to relive any old times, talk about them or reconnect in any way.  I really already knew that though as I have been trying to reconnect with some of my oldest and best friends in the entire world and have simply found they were new people with new lives and new memories and didn't want or care about any old friends.  Some have really made me sad, but I have finally learned to accept it.  Memories are just that.....MEMORIES!

Roy would tell me to just buck up and forget it and get on with my life....He speaks to me from Heaven....as of right now it is forgotten.  Consider me bucked up!

When I think of him I know there were rough spots he was my brother for 58 years and six months....we knew each other well....but it is strange now that even when I think of the rough spots I remember they were wonderful...I guess because he was there and they were not just a memory.  He now resides in my memory and in my heart and there he has a home until the day I get to Heaven and see him again.     

Just a Short Note....

Yesterday afternoon, last night and all today until about 8:00 this evening I had my nearly 4 year old great granddaughter with me.  Need I say more. 

  

I am working on a Power Point Presentation of photos in order...as well as doing this.  So I will keep you posted on that.  Don't really think that will too long in being done.  But it will give you a quick look at the sweet baby all the way through his life.....and will be something you can just keep and enjoy as often as you would like.

Going to bed now....Cathy, you do remind me a lot of him in many ways....of course omitting the mustache.....

I know NOTHING about blogs....this is a journey

Just decided that this is probably not a blog at all.  It is, instead, a way of communicating my feelings, thoughts, views and of course memories.  It is also very importantly, an avenue to share my life with my brother with his widow, children and friends.  It seems that everyone that knew Roy knew a different Roy, and few if any knew what his early life was all about.  Even fewer knew the things that shaped his life into some of the withdrawn and stoic feelings he often threw up.

To many, he was an ecentric dreaming genuis.  Which of course he was.  To some, he was a candle making, traveling hippie, selling his wares to fund his travels.  Which of course he was.  To some, he was completely and openly different and determined to live his life his way and do things that no one would even think of doing.  Which of course he did.  For example, did you know that he decided that he would go to college for his entire life and make sure he NEVER had enough credits in anything to get a diploma in anything?  This hippie genuis  was bound and determined to throw newspapers for the rest of his life and go to college full time and learn everything he could about everything....but never get a job so he could use what he had learned.  And you know what?  He almost succeeded!  Unfortunately his one real love sneaked in and offered him the chance of a lifetime and he took it without checking out the entire consequences of his actions.  I personally believe it was an act of God, for it indeed, as time went change his life in every way.

He was attending Central State University, in Edmond, Oklahoma and had been for several years.  He had, because of his desire to never get a degree but attend college for his entire life, once again changed majors.  He went into drama.  Play acting, a way to be himself, but never allow anyone else to know it was him.  Then he worked behind the scenes, built props, did set direction....everything and loved it.  Then the opportunity opened up and was offered to him to tour the Scandanavian countries and other countries and perform in plays and drive the tour bus.  He accepted the position and set off to see the world for three months.  It was his chance of a lifetime, he took it, he loved it, he came home and it bit him right in the behind.....it had, unknowingly to him, given him the exact number of credits he needed to get a degree in drama, with enough credits to have minors in several things.  He was a success in spite of himself.

His life at most of the time he was attending school was, let us say clouded, by the unfortunate use of what a lot of men his age had gotten into at that time.  

I am just going to put a few photos here with little caplines to guide you and I will go into some details next time.  Always, keep in mind, Cathy and Erin that he LOVED you....but he wasn't just crazy about himself.

   Here he says, I am creating, trying to grow a mustache and you want me to smile as well?

 Okay, changed my mind a bit, decided to let my hair grow, forgot the mustach, ditched the shorts and short sleeved shirt and look I have a wonderful, genuine smile.  He was happy in this picture.  It is one of my personal favorites....his eyes are smiling...not cloudy.

Here, with Daddy, he is pretty layed back.  Hair is growing longer and longer and look....the mustach has reappeared.  Daddy is in his shorts and short sleeved shirt and Roy is wearing his Don Johnson outfit, long before it was a Don Johnson outfit.  For those who don't remember there was a show called Miami Vice......oooppps, where is that smile?

Well, we are getting more and more long hair and that mustach is back and he is a happy camper, having dinner at Mom and Dad's.  I see his tattoo peeping out from under his sleeve.  Don'tcha just love that purpule shirt.

Good night all and good night my sweet Roy, I have thought about you this entire day and written about you and looked at your pictures.  I am now just sitting here staring at this photo of you....mesmerized.... captured and drawn into it.  I must say good night.  I love you sweet boy!

A Few Childhood Memories

Today I am going to write about a fun Christmas vacation with Mom, Dad, Roy, Nenie and me.  First of all you need to know that Nenie was my wonderful grandmother that I loved dearly.  She loved me as well, and in her eyes I could do no wrong.  This lasted of course until I got old enough to do something wrong....but she still loved me and she went on most vacations we ever went on as children.  And she was with us on this on.

This Christmas vacation took place just before the story with Roy and Toby on the peanut truck and Roy had on his beloved Davy Crockett suit.  It was a great Christmas as all were.  We spent it in Chickasha at Nenies house and then left from there for our "big" vacation.  Daddy always had "big" vacations at Christmas time and in the summer time and we always went somewhere.  This Christmas we went to Washington D.C.  I truly do not remember what we drove, but it was not the Peanut Truck.  We must have borrowed a car or used Nenies, but I can't bring it to my memory what we drove.  We still lived on 7th street and I never remember we had a car while there.  We didn't get our first car, as I recall, until we moved to 20th street.  From the time I was in the first grade until I married, we always lived on a numbered street.  I always wanted to live on some named street, you know like RiverPark Lane or something....okay I digress.....

Back to the story.  I don't know what car we took, but we took a car.  Daddy and Mom in the front seat and Nenie, Roy and I were in the back seat.  Nenie always sat directly behind mother at the window and of course Roy and I fussed constantly about it was "my" turn to sit at the window.  Usually there was no problem with this, we would just change seats when we made our "pit stops".  But, this was a totally different type of Christmas.

Roy and I had each gotten a watch, which of course never exactly coincided in time, so that in and of itself produced many discussions (fights) regarding whose watch was right.  But, Roy, being Roy also even at this young age was so profound, precise and punctual.  haha....those who knew him knew he had no concept of time at all ever, no, not once.  Time had no meaning whatsoever to him....when he arrived, he was in his own mind, right on time....again I digress, this is about when we were kids.  He was profound and a great debater from the time the could speak so he put it into good use on this trip.  We would no longer switch seats at pit stops, we would now have EXACTLY 30 minutes at a time at the window...by his watch of course.  If he was in the middle my watch was running slow and we should change.  If he was at the window my watch was running fast and he had more time.  It made for a very fun trip from Oklahoma to Washington D.C. and back.  Mother always felt Nenie should sit in the middle so Roy and I could each have a window, but Nenie would have no part of that.

Okay, so we are on our way.  Daddy began our trip with his "trip starter saying,"  "There will be no fingernail biting, nose picking, fighting or farting on this trip, just sit back and enjoy the ride."  He said that every time we ever went anywhere, even on our vacations as we got older.  Another old memory brought back just from writing in the blog.  As I have said before, I do not plan what to say, I just sit and type about that particular memory.  I do have an outline sort of as you have seen and which you have also seen I don't really follow....but again......

Daddy got a Stetson hat for Christmas and Roy got his Davy Crockett suit and coonskin cap which he wore nearly every day for months.... and this trip with his brand new suit was and would be no exception.  Though Daddy loved his Stetson and wore it all the time, he was a real stickler for removing your hat when you went inside a home, restaurant, place of business, etc.  Hence, when we stopped to eat and went in the restaurants Daddy and Roy would remove their hats.  Daddy would put his on the hat rack and Roy kept his in the booth right by his side.  Most of the time.....One time we left the restaurant and had gone when maybe 10 miles and Roy yelled out the had forgotten his Davy Crockett hat.  Daddy turned around to go get it, but not without a lecture.  "If you are going to wear a hat, you need to keep up with it.  If you can't keep up with it then you are not old enough to wear it."  This is not word for word, but it is close and went on over and over.  We got Roy's hat and started back on the road, Roy was no longer crying, he had his hat.  Mother looked over at Daddy and said, "Burney, where is your hat?"  Well, I will not even try to write what was said.  Let us just say it wasn't pretty!  We turn around again and went back to the restaurant and got daddy's hat.

 Just for fun, throwing this in to once again show you the Davy Crockett suit.  Blow this picture up and you will see the infamous coonskin cap in Roys hands.

Also, for fun just throwing this in to show you  he was indeed a cowboy from a very early age...before the Davy Crockett days....

And just so you remember.....at a very early age....note the hat and the watch....again, he was always concerned with time....hahaha

Back to the hat story.....nothing more was said about the hat at that time.  Daddy and Roy both had their hats and all was well with the world.  Moving on down the road and a day later, all was going smoothly.  We would be in Washington this afternoon.  Out of the blue Daddy says, "What was the name of that restaurant where we ate lunch today."  "I don't know," my mother replies.  "Nenie, you remember the name?"  Nope...no one could remember the name.  "Why are you so interested in that restaurant's name," my mom asks, "Why is that so important?"  Nothing was said and Mother and Nenie began to get tickled.  Mother asks again, "Why is that restaurant so important?"  Daddy sighs, "Because I need to call them because I left my hat there."  Hysterical laughter erupts with Mother and Nenie.  Daddy, on the other hand did not find it so funny.  We were going to have to turn around and go back to that restaurant - almost 100 miles behind us - to get his hat.  Finally, as daddy was getting ready to turn around, Nenie puts the hat over the front seat to Mother.  Mother had noticed that Daddy had forgotten his hat in the restaurant and she and Nenie sneaked it out, knowing he would remember it sometime and think he had to go back to get it again.  They (Mother and Nenie) had a really good laugh over that.  Not sure Daddy even smiled, but he didn't forget his hat anymore.

Okay, that broke up the trip pretty well and I can just move us right on quickly to Washington D.C.  I don't think Roy or I even realized what a Washington D.C. was, we just knew we were going there.  When we arrived in the late evening we got a hotel room.  The next day we would tour the city.  Mother and Nenie suggested perhaps a bus tour would be wise, but nope, this wasn't that big and we all knew what we want to see so Daddy would be the tour guide.  Well, we somehow got on some kind of loop, loop, loop, loop, looooooooooooop that literally took us around in circles for what seemed like hours.  I recall Mother saying, "Get off this loop and park this car."  Well, that was the jist of what she said, don't remember the exact words.  We got off the loop.  Parked the car and the discussions (don't you like that word - discussions) doesn't sound anything thing like, shall we say, fussing.  

Meanwhile, as the discussion was getting louder, a gentleman knocked on Daddy's window.  Daddy rolled the window down.  The gentleman introduced himself as Dominec DeBacabella (may or may not be spelled correctly).  This is not the kind of stuff one can make up....  Okay, the man said he had a Limo and pointed to it and offered for $10.00 to give us a private guided tour of the city.  He would even park and let us walk up to the Monuments.  Daddy of course said no, but Mother and Nenie in unison opened their doors and off we went of a tour.  Turned out to be a really great tour.  He did indeed let us out at each Monument and then took us to the next one.  He took us to the Washington Monument and Mother, Nenie and I went on the elevator.  Roy, Daddy and  Mr. DeBacabella waited for us on a bench.  Gave them a nice time to chat.  As it turns out, Roy was fussing saying he wanted to go and we would be up there for hours.....Daddy says to him, "Don't worry, they will be on the next elevator down."  He even went on to explain to Mr. DeBacabella that we would be in the very back of the elevator because we would be the first ones ON the elevator.  Yep, we were squashed in the very back, seems not one of us liked it up in the Washington Monument.

The last thing on our tour was to be the Changing of the Guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.  I remember getting there and there were hundreds of people gathered to see it.  We couldn't even see the Tomb, much less the Changing of the Guards.  No problem for Mr. DeBacabella!  He takes my mother's arm and holds his other arm up in the air and begins moving through the crowd saying, "Excuse us please, tour coming through, tour coming through".  He wrestled us up front and we were on the front of the entire crowd, right in front of where the Guards met in the center.  Even though Roy and I were both very young we both had a vivid memory of the Changing.  This was a very well spent $10.00 I have been told many times.  Most of the rest of this story is vivid in my memory because it was talked about every Christmas and every vacation we ever took again.  In fact, most of what I write is what I have been told and heard so many times that is has become my very own "memory."

Quick little story here that happened on the way back home.  We stopped in some town and it was pouring down rain and we got a room in the hotel.  I guess they really didn't have a lot of motels at that time because we always stayed in hotels.  This one was old.  We stayed on the second floor and the bath was down the hall.  But, this is what we laughed about so many time over the years to come.  There was a big window and right under the window was a radiator with a very thick rope tied to it.  On wall just above it was a sign taped to the wall.  It read, "In case of fire through rope out window and climb down."  Yeah, couldn't you just see it....all five of us slitherings down the rope.  Makes me laugh now just to think of it.dheeaas  thatoow   year