Today Was a Thinky and Melancholy Day...So this will be Short

You may have noticed that their have been no posts since Saturday.  There is a reason for that.  Sunday there was a 7th Heaven Marathon on GMC (Gospel Music Channel) which I watched a lot of.  Monday I took Buddy to work as I needed the car for a doctor's appointment and mine needs to go to the hospital because it won't start.  So, Monday I left the house at 7:00 and took him to work, went to the doctor (two of them), went to the grocery store (three of them), came home put the groceries away, went back to get Buddy from work at 7:00 p.m. and we went and had dinner; got home at 9:00 and went to bed shortly after.

Tuesday had appointment at 11:00 then lunch with a friend and went to the movies to see Les Miserables' again before it leaves the big screen (hope to see it at least once more before it leaves the theater) came home, fixed dinner and went to bed.

Today I went another doctor.  I hate wasting my time with doctors.  But, here is what I found out today.  Even though I am blind in my right eye and my left eyelid is drooping severely and blocking some vision in that eye, the doctor said that insurance will not approve it quite yet.  He said give it another six months and I will probably not be able to see out of it at all without holding my lid up and we would do the tests again.  Right now only!!!!!!! 50% of my upper peripheral vision is blocked.....Of course, just because I am blind in the other eye, that would be no problem for most people.  At least it won't kill me.  I asked if I could still drive....no problem.....that is not my up close and personal peripheral vision....glad to hear that at least.  However, the bone doctor may get rich because I trip over things and bump into furniture and doorways.....I already need to have both knees drained of massive amounts of fluids from falling.  Guess I will go ahead and do that now....then I can just sit in my recliner with my laptop in my lap and continue to write stories on Roy.

Speaking of Roy.  I am going to watch the DVD of Les Miserables that he directed in the school where he and Holly taught.  It is magnificient....hmmmm just thought of that.....well tomorrow may be filled with more Les Mis......I have two other DVD's in which he and Holly acted and/or produced and directed.  "Once Upon a Tenor" which I have watched many times and laugh until I nearly wet my pants and "Who Is Afraid of Virginia Wolfe," in which he and Holly again played the leads.  I have, to date, not been able to bring myself to watch this one.  I spent the last six months of his life with him and Holly and I saw how happy he was and they were together and I love and consider her a sister.  I don't know if I can take watching them act in this one....will keep you posted on that...but don't look for anything soon.  However, watch for Les Miserables' review as I will be once again enjoying that.

I have also been working on the photos that go with The World According to Roy and have gotten many more of them done and so am happy about that.  However, that was pretty difficult because as I really worked on the photos, I saw in the body language sometimes that perhaps our family was not as happy as we may, or I may, have thought.  That is a painful thing to notice when both of your parents and your only brother are gone and you are the only one left and you thought you were happy as a family.  We probably were, I am just feeling whatever I am feeling because of just working on the photos and bringing all of the memories to the forefront of my mind.  

I wonder sometimes if old memories don't simply just need to be remember ONLY in your memory....not with photos or reunions or anything of that sort.

I thought high school was the happiest time of my entire life until I met Buddy.  But, in September I went to my 50th class reunion and I learned I should have just kept my memories and forgotten about the reunion.  Old friends, best friends (or so one thought) are completely different...they do not want to relive any old times, talk about them or reconnect in any way.  I really already knew that though as I have been trying to reconnect with some of my oldest and best friends in the entire world and have simply found they were new people with new lives and new memories and didn't want or care about any old friends.  Some have really made me sad, but I have finally learned to accept it.  Memories are just that.....MEMORIES!

Roy would tell me to just buck up and forget it and get on with my life....He speaks to me from Heaven....as of right now it is forgotten.  Consider me bucked up!

When I think of him I know there were rough spots he was my brother for 58 years and six months....we knew each other well....but it is strange now that even when I think of the rough spots I remember they were wonderful...I guess because he was there and they were not just a memory.  He now resides in my memory and in my heart and there he has a home until the day I get to Heaven and see him again.