First of all, I have really been trying to figure out just what a blog is. I believe I have decided it is just a way to unload your feelings of the day and then be able to, at some later date, go back and see what it was you were feeling and/or doing on that date. Rather, if you please, like a diary for senior citizen. This has no lock on it. And why should it, there are no secrets here. Well, actually (one of Addie's favorite words these days) there are some secrets here. But they are all kept from me.
For example: How do I make this look like other blogs? How do I give it any pizzazz...it just has clouds, which are nice, but that is it. I don't know how to link to other blogs...engage in conversation with other blogs...or even where other blogs might be found. Except, of course on Pinterest...which is a new passion of mine. I would like to link to some of those blogs...I would like for some people to link to my blog...I would like to have something of interest on here for someone to even want to pin to...therefore making it a pinterest kind of blog.
Actually (that word again) I just like to write and I have a lot of things inside of me to write about. No one believes any of them or understands or cares, but I do have lots inside. I have in my 4029 years of life (69 years in real terms, but since I want to stay in my forties, I just do it this way) just another one of my things I do to remain me. You see, I didn't like me for most of my life. I had a very rough bad childhood which I don't talk about and won't go into detail here either, but I was taken advantage of as a child of about 3, maybe 4, until around the age of 12 and if you think just a little you will probably be able to figure out what I am talking about. It pretty much messed me up until I was about 34 or 35 years old when I finally put it to rest....at the foot of the Cross. I hated this man. He was dead, I was glad and I hoped he was suffering in Hell as he had made me suffer in those tender young years of my life. But, even though dead and gone, he ruled my decisions and I didn't even know it. I didn't realize it. I had no way of knowing, but he did. Because of him, I deserved every bad thing that happened to me and somehow even set out to make things bad happen to me simply because I deserved them. So, as you can imagine, not only was my early childhood a mess, so was my young adulthood.
I thought for many years that my high school years were the happiest days of my life. Only to find out that because I dated a lot of guys I had a bad reputation. Go figure...I wouldn't let anyone touch me below the neck and if they tried, they were warned not to do it again and if they tried it again they were history. Lots tried, lots didn't listen, lots were history. But, it never ever occurred to me that people thought I was "that kind of girl"....or that I was wild, or anything of that nature at all. I had a lot of "friends." I ran around with a lot of girls. I was happy. I loved those years. Then 50 years later those memories are shattered when I am told by someone whom I had not seen in 50 years, "Oh, I remember you, you were really a wild one." Huh? No, I wasn't. "Oh, yes I remember you and you were." Crash...blam.....bang....there go those memories.....
So here I am at age 4029, wondering where all my good memories were taken from me like that....then I remember that "he" was the reason....I couldn't even have memories because of him...not good ones.... Then I remember that I laid him and his memory at the foot of the cross in 1978 and I forgave him and my life changed forever.
I found a true relationship with the Lord. I was able to forgive and know I was forgiven. I met my husband. We married and have been married now for 28 years and I am still blissfully happy with him. I still have my personal relationship with Jesus and I am a changed person. So, I tell you this dear blog, so I can from this day on tell you all of the wonderful things that Jesus has done for me to make my life what it is today. I am, dear blog, completely sold out to Jesus. I am "out there." I have so many miracles and wonderful things to tell you about that I can hardly wait. But, I will, for it is late and I feel very tired. It wasn't easy putting this into words to be seen....but it was liberating to do it....it is out in the open...it is over....it is, as Jesus cried out at the Cross, "It is FINISHED."
So, I will write more here...I will tell you all about my Jesus and I hope that someone will read it at just the right time so they will see Jesus and they will also begin to walk in that new life that changes everything.....That is what I want to do. I want to tell people about Jesus. I want to make jewelry and I want to make it to the glory of God. I want to write and I want to make my writing to the glory of God. Though I am neither a writer nor a jewelry maker, these are desires of my heart, and as Philippians 4:13 says, "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me." Yes Yes and Amen! Thank You Jesus!
More later my dear blog....but now I go to rest.
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